Relationships matter – A lot.
About Relationship Systems Coaching
In a real sense, all life is interrelated. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly … I can never be what I ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be, until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
The relationship with ourselves is the first relationship we are in; add another person, and we are in a relationship system, more than the sum of its parts, right? Social systems are about engaging in relationships. We are all a part of many whether we are at work, in our families, with our friends, or simply buying a coffee. In all relationship systems, we influence each other and the whole, and we´re influenced by the whole. Relationship systems strongly impact the efficacy and ´thrivability´ for all. That´s why we need to pay more attention and up-skill ourselves on the impact we have on our relationships and how they impact us.
The beautiful MLK quote above captures what organization- and relationship systems coaching is all about. Being in relationship address the whole system; you, me, we, us – rather than aspects or single events. All parts in a relationship system engage, consciously, unconsciously, skillfully, or not so skillfully.
We all need to be seen and be heard to function optimally, and most of us don´t know how to ask for that, much less receive being seen and heard. That´s ok, we can practice willingly. It is never about fixing any system. Instead, the task is to reveal the nature of the system to itself. We can ask: “What is going on here?” ” How do I function in this relationship?” “How do I contribute to seeing and hearing others and the whole?” Consequently, this mirroring process empowers the self-regulation function of the system.
In essence, systems coaching creates awareness for all system members to bring more understanding of what impact they have on a relationship system. In turn, systems coaching helps bring awareness to the impact the system has on each member. Finally, how a relationship system is able to address and ´reveal the system to itself ´ is the key skill for purposeful co-existence and growth. This takes som practice, but so worthwhile, since you would know how to notice, speak to and listen to the whole. Would you be willing to learn more about the how?
Contact me for a chat about what that could look like for you.
Reference: Fundamentals Resources 2005, The Center for Right Relationship.